Be It Resolved

It's always nice to blow off the trivialities of profession and production for a few days and focus in on the vital core of life--the rapid and repeated consumption of fat grams and the application of a high "burn rate" to one's accumulated savings. A disgusting spectacle, to be sure, but why stint? Few of us will start up from our deathbeds to lament, "I wish I had spent less on Christmas!" Parsimony is the province of the next holiday down the line, the New Year's new leaf--the vows of virtue by which we seek to bargain with higher powers. A pale and Puritan exercise at the nadir of winter.