Can We Talk?

I'm barely too young to remember Edward R. Murrow's This I Believe series of the 1950s, but I can only applaud the efforts of Jay Allison and others to resurrect the series for public radio. In the blizzard of spin and opinion that dominates the national dialogue, values and beliefs are rarely explicitely stated. They are relegated to shorthand and codewords meant to categorize broad swaths of people in groups--fundamentalist Christian, secular humanist, NASCAR mom, environmentalist. But values and beliefs are qualities of individual minds, not a form of collective property. And while opinions may be so much sailboat fuel, belief moves people to action. That is the beauty of it, and the peril. Find out what moves your neighbors; be open about what moves you.

Pod People:

As a member in good standing of the Benevolent and Unusual Order of Geeks, it grieves me to admit that I am not one of those slim, hiply-clad and maniacally-boogeying silhouettes from the iPod commercials. Rather, ever since the long-ago days of the Walkman, I have had to wrestle with the urge to pluck out a white glove with which to slap the cheeks of those who get lost in public within their rumbling headsets, serenely isolated as the "windowless monads" of premodern physics. But now the unfortunately named technology of podcasting has come along to stand this stereotype of drum-dazed self-absorption on its ear. For example, you can download many of the programs in the Think Global collaboration for later play on your iPod (if you're a 'pod person) or to your computer (if you are more careful of your antique dignity). A friend of my daughter gifted her with a handknit "cozy" for her iPod--an essay on globalization in itself. And later this summer you will be able to subscribe to a podcast of features from NCPR's regional news.

One must keep up, after all. My lodge-mate, The Right Quirky Brother Bill Haenel, recently cell-phoned me from Massachusetts. "Listen to this," he commanded. "I'm streaming NCPR on my phone's web browser, broadcasting it through the car's fm radio, and sending it back to you via cell phone." I am not worthy.

On Message:

Civil society demands a robust and proactive crackdown to incentivize media stakeholders to mandate an end to the unprecedented level of inappropriate phrase choices that trend toward meaning obfuscation on the ground. Partner with me to makeover the functionality of reporting by modeling state-of-the-art best practices as a road map for reinventing punditry. Bottom line—they need a wake-up call. At this point in time, acting in accordance with such outside the box thinking would send a big footprint message to the next generation of cutting edge strategic planners. A nuanced comprehensive approach is, in the final analysis, what has gone missing in this perfect storm of talking heads. One thing is certain--now more than ever, a sea change is needed to reach tipping point in the media quagmire. Experts agree such a defining moment would be welcomed with open arms.

Dale's Law:

Naming laws after people has a long history--Taft-Hartley, McCain-Feingold. As long as it was the last names of the authors of the legislation, that was OK by me. But the recent vogue of giving warm and fuzzy first names to legislation has got to go. Laws, according to the Constitution, must be made to address the general case, not the individual case. To imply otherwise is a cynical marketing gimmick that exploits the victims it purports to champion.

So I propose Dale's Law. In keeping with my legislative reform program mandating that all laws must be written in haiku form (each of the Ten Commandments or articles in the Bill of Rights can easily be expressed in 17 syllables or fewer), I suggest the following language:

Giving public laws
a cute and personal name
is a felony.