I profess to not be a fan of winter, dreading its coming all fall. But I forget its allure, its beguiling purity and clarity until one morning it suddenly transforms everything.
Epiphany Snow
The first real snow falls on Epiphany, late, after a dry fall and cool December. Six inches, no big deal, but an epiphany nonetheless.
Snow boots are still in the closet, the shovel and salt tucked behind stuff on the back porch. The inevitable finds me unprepared as usual.
I purged from memory the scraping of the plow, forgot the way snow shines on sagging cedars, how all things dull and dim can now be shining.
Out of the old year’s ending, this new beginning, when what could be wrestles with what will be. Who can say what may befall once the snow begins to fall?
After 911, I remember a child psychologist stressing how important it was, when children were watching the Twin Towers fall over and over again in the media, to explain to them that it only happened once and was not still happening. In cyberspace, the towers are still falling and will always be falling, everywhere, and so too with every other trauma. This is what makes it such fertile ground for obsession.
An English Major Laments the Space-time Continuum
Science fiction writer Ray Cummings explained time thus: “Time is what prevents everything from happening at once.” Physicist John Wheeler added as a capper: “Space is what prevents everything from happening to me.”
This tidy structure we left behind, preferring one where the old rules don’t apply–cyberspace. There, everything that ever happened happens now and what happens anywhere, happens everywhere.
In the old world the body inhabits, this is insane, but in the new world the mind has colonized, this is the allure, to savor every blinking meme, preferring pixels to food, water, love and nature.
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All kinds of music gets stuck in the top of my mind: pop tunes, carols, hymns, blues. I walk to their refrain for half a day, then pass on to something else. But some music wraps around the brain stem, permeates the convolutions, gets in there for keeps.
No Cure for Leonard Cohen
His songs dig hooks into memory– deep, dark, rich, complex as chocolate, but unsweetened by sentiment.
Transcendence and despair do duets, celebration and regret. Beauty sheds her merely pretty clothes; pain uplifts.
Behind one devastating line, the heart is hid. His half-destroyed voice demands it: Chase the holy; seek it in the broken.
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In the beginning, after the Big Bang, stars in clusters formed invisible to one another through dense hydrogen gas. Space was opaque. And darkness was upon the face of the deep.
Starshine slowly ionized the gas, turning it clear. First one, then many glimmers could be seen.
Bubbles of transparency merged to encompass whole galaxies until a whole galaxy was small as a pea inside a hot-air balloon by comparison.
Later (a hundred million years later) the bubbles had all merged –the whole universe transparent to the light. Fiat lux.
After years of benign neglect, I’ve been spending time and money in the nurseries and garden tool departments of the hardware store. And I find that working in the garden feels satisfying solid in comparison to the airier pursuits of art.
Sun on the Garden
The part that makes poetry has lain sleeping, and now (after COVID again) tumbleweeds blow through my brain. So instead, I dig and plant and water and mulch and weed, thinking of nothing much under the late spring sun, except how the names of flora make their own kind of poetry: lobelia and marigold, shrub rose and geranium, salvia.
That would make Adam the first poet, I suppose, sitting in the Garden of Eden naming all the animals: “Platypus, I shall call you platypus.” — and all the others, an arkful of the newly named for Noah to salvage from the flood. I name them to myself as they come to check my work: robin, rabbit, chipmunk, butterfly, black fly and whitetail.
This is the power of word. To name it is to see it, to bring its smell to the nose, just as the mind mimes each story even as it’s told, or as we twitch and mutter to dreams. So small the difference between word and world, a thing thin as the skin that separates me from thee, a mere tissue. Yet call it what you will, flesh in fact is fact, and word is air.
I wave the hose head back and forth like a magic wand or a maestro’s baton, calling up water from below the bedrock. But one only tends a garden, encouraging life. The maestro creates no symphony, no matter how dramatically he waves. The flowers know what powers the upthrust of their lives. They turn its way each day as it tracks across the skies.
There is a qualitative difference between grace and its near relative, luck. Luck, for good or for ill, is bestowed randomly by an indifferent universe. Grace feels like a personal gift from one who knows your inmost desire.
Grace
Sometimes while a storm still rages the sun shouts out from the horizon. Sometimes the locked door pounded on a hundred times before is found ajar.
There is no way to make it so. So, wait for it, wait more, and love life. A long season runs between planting and harvest. Anything could happen.
Just ran across a draft of this written back when I was doing an April poem-a-s-day challenge. I think it cleans up nicely.
Fluid Dynamics
The whirlpool behind Sugar Island dam where snowmelt drops to the penstock sends ripples back across the flow, breaking up the reflection of clouds trying to move east against the current.
The vortex runs white for a moment, shredding cumulus, then resumes draining the sky of blue. The penstock runs north to the powerhouse, to wring the water’s watts. What does it wring from the sky?